Generally speaking I find it very hard to move on; and if you stop loving me I won’t ever forget it. But this seems to happen often, and I still haven’t figured out why. But until I do I’ll over analyse what we had, all the good we had, in retrospect to the mess we have now.
How can we go from that.. to this..?
How do I manage to be so close to you, so at ease with you and so fully aware of your person
From a month of understanding/acceptance/lust/passion/interest
Erased from all memory.
I don’t even want to tell you this, to open myself to you like this
When you hurt me so much
In such a short space of time, but spanned out over so many months.
Your actions/words/silence all brought tears to my eyes
Still, bring tears to my eyes.
At night when I wish you loved me
And that you too wouldn’t be the one…
To give me up.
To leave the soft caress of your mouth across my lips
Then speak down to me with your sharp tongue.
Once your anger, cold-hearted indifference did nothing more than make me withdraw inwardly
We, I, lost the good in all that was great
Pushed me further below my confidence
Scaring me with the pain.
Made my tears glisten against your sharp knife
Our future etched
But my present was too weak to move on
So I returned to taste the blood on your finger
You cut me even though I thought I was too far from the blade.
Every effing time.