“Are you scared of being alone with me? That somehow your foolishness will drop your guard, and give me that warmth I’ve been lacking? When I need to have some alone time, to be face to face with you… to work with honesty and come to a mutual solution?”
It’s because of days like this that I find it so hard to stop myself from saying something to you. Where I deliberate over the best sentence, order of words or topic, the best mood to portray, the extent of honesty to raise.
I can’t judge what is right anymore.
What I should do, for your sake, if silence is best, or for my sake, if talking would be my therapy.
I’ve lost you.
Your outright compassion.
Our combined understanding.
I cried silent tears for you
I still cry for you.
I wish I had the guts to talk to you
Words could attempt to explain my pain.
I could attempt to touch that part of you hidden from my reach
I wish things were easier with you.
But I cried to you once
I was at the brink of tears with you once
And it in effect led to finalising things.
Your sensibilities dislike my emotional weakness and exaggeration.
That still kills me
Thinking about it, is unfortunate,
When your depth is more understanding.
Your disregard for what makes me emotionally paralytic. Your insistence on ignoring even if completely imaginary.
I hope it was the best decision for you. I hope this is what will help you, for hurting you.
How can I speak to you when I burst into tears,
How can I call you when I am still angry at your disregard,
How can it be so complicated when I heart you so much.
But baby I’m hurting
And had you loved me
There would be no hesitation.
Happy ♥ Day M.