♥ happy belated heartday babe ♥

“Are you scared of being alone with me? That somehow your foolishness will drop your guard, and give me that warmth I’ve been lacking? When I need to have some alone time, to be face to face with you… to work with honesty and come to a mutual solution?”


It’s because of days like this that I find it so hard to stop myself from saying something to you. Where I deliberate over the best sentence, order of words or topic, the best mood to portray, the extent of honesty to raise.


I can’t judge what is right anymore.


What I should do, for your sake, if silence is best, or for my sake, if talking would be my therapy.


I’ve lost you.
Your outright compassion.
Our combined understanding.
The friendship.


I cried silent tears for you
Eyes overflowing
I still cry for you. 


I wish I had the guts to talk to you
Words could attempt to explain my pain.


My fears, trebled,


I could attempt to touch that part of you hidden from my reach

I wish things were easier with you.


But I cried to you once
I was at the brink of tears with you once
And it in effect led to finalising things.
Your sensibilities dislike my emotional weakness and exaggeration.


That still kills me
Thinking about it, is unfortunate,
When your depth is more understanding.
Your disregard for what makes me emotionally paralytic. Your insistence on ignoring even if completely imaginary.
I hope it was the best decision for you. I hope this is what will help you, for hurting you.


How can I speak to you when I burst into tears,
How can I call you when I am still angry at your disregard,

How can it be so complicated when I heart you so much.


But baby I’m hurting
And had you loved me
There would be no hesitation.


Happy ♥ Day M.


Miss Mess





About iheartmess

A Middle Eastern Londoner 20-something living the 'western' life in between London and home.
This entry was posted in Secrets, valentine and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s