A good friend once said an excellent line: that ‘people are a bonus’. I’ve lived by that for most my life and even more so the past 3 months. I paid homage to those words literally.
I was unaffected when friends bailed, prospective cuties screwed up and the reverse too, I ran away from confrontation and didn’t attempt to build or work on existing friendships. I needed to be happy with me, before others could be happy.
I had a fantastic time. Enjoyed every second of my days, with new people, new things, new places. Careless, carefree, caught in the moment. But that never continues for too long… I mean can it truly? Our inability to be interdependent and reliant on others is not a myth. However fast we run away from confrontation and situations of dependence, the faster it catches up to us, and smacks us in the face with the truth that “no man is an island”. (I wish I had a better quote, but you know what I mean).
I really did, I embraced the idea that ‘you should be happy without judgement, commitment or expectation’. Now that is the antithesis of me, however much I try to deny it.. and I really try to block it, I live by people’s thoughts of me, two words: Love Me.
It wasn’t only that I became numb, things that should matter didn’t, people that I did care about stopped caring.
People are a bonus, but I forgot, you sort of need to work for this bonus.