The other day, I went through some old photos and as you do, started reminiscing about the past. These memories mainly centred around the two years that Mr B. was in the picture.
(If you haven’t read my previous posts, let’s just say Mr. B was the epitome of my lostgirllookingforlove years.)
Anyhow, back to the photographs, there were two things that bothered me, One: I seemed to not smile in my photos; Maybe I was pouting or posing in some I think-I’m-too-cool way (yes that pout), maybe I’m not photogenic, maybe… well when it came down to it, I didn’t look happy, AT ALL. I somehow managed to be on the side every time, the only one of 7 huddled in bodies not smiling into the camera.
Yes, there were instances that I wasn’t happy because of the pessimist that I am, but there was so much that did make me feel freaking wonderful. London, the friends I made, the worlds that I discovered and the ones that I didn’t.
I’m still learning, but it’s one of my biggest faults that I forget to enjoy the moment I’m in. Sometimes, I do stop analysing and just think of what I want and do; but I don’t think that is the same as not wallowing in your imaginary sorrow. We all have so many aspirations and wishes and challenges we want to hurdle through that Today seems nothing but a glitch in the way.
What I have learnt, I’m sure among other grown up things, is that sometimes things aren’t in your control and however hard it seems, to be happy about today, you shouldn’t deprive yourself of that happiness just because it’s not exactly as you imagined it; all sunny, perfect and an uncomplicated Mr B squeezing your hand by your side.
The other thing I noticed from these stack of printed digital photos was, Two: I have lost touch with nearly everyone in those photos. We are all so connected in the 21st Century, what with Facebook, BBM, Skype, and these kids are just buttons away at no charge, yet neither parties type, I don’t type to many of them either.
And ofcourse I know it and talk about it all the time- the years you spend in University are the years you make alot of friends and lose alot of friends. What with people scattered around the world for work, family or just t moving on with their lives, we all lose touch. Shame that it is, it’s also reality.
I’m smiling today, and excited about an upcoming trip with a few of those friends in the aforementioned photographs. I’ll be making some new memories, who knows reinstating some never experienced old flames or just laughing uncontrollably at crazy times with people who I want to be seeing.
And that is in the present truthfully Awesome!