Muse: a force personified who is the source of inspiration for a creative artist

How am I supposed to know? Tell me how?
I say it all the time. You forget to, or can’t bring yourself to? Or you don’t know how to?

… but I’m tired now, I’m tired of being the only one that feels it. I’m tired of crying because my insides feel the irrational imaginary clenching jabs of a pummelled heart.
I’m tired of wanting that unrealistic, perfect, storytale devotion.
Minus my jealousy, minus your reserve.
Tired. And despondently drained.

I close my eyes, go to sleep thinking of you, I wake up with the radio scratching my heart reminding me of you. And I, miss you too.

What can I write now to help you believe, it’s like I know you so well but pause no I don’t anymore. Like you stood, breifly looked through my eyes and shrugged off my force.

Wait, if you can just one more time entertain my sorrow, ask me to talk to you, then as long as you hear it
And if you’re happy with my decision
I will say nothing more to you.

But rather close my loose lips, and leave because this time I must
Let you be as you are,
had been, can be,
Living without me.

If I’ve said things that have upset you, I’m sorry for my low self-esteem. When I told you all that made you smile, you let them pass unspoken.
Words mean so much to me, but for you I’d swallow them dry
Put your needs before mine. But alas, hear you whisper beautiful in my memories will be all that I’ll have.

Since last week, don’t think about it anymore, stay as you are.
Ah, a choice to let it bother you or not.
Once again, two years from now … my tears may run but it’s for no one else to see
In your hearts pocket don’t doom; forget or replace it.
Once again, only remind me if it’s no longer far and your anger is still willing to accept this.

In any case, despite the above, you will always be
Mine.
My muse,
loved by me.

Miss Mess

xoxo