It surprised me that, despite my calm, my acceptance, and my realistic distance I really wished you would pause, look, and silence me; then tell me, with raised eyebrows, that you missed me with all of your heart. Just as I did you; within that part I had kept beating for you.
It surprised me that, I burned when you never said that you wished I had never left. Never admitted that things are not the same and things would only be better if I were with you. That with everything, it’s me you couldn’t live without.
When, two months ago, I actually felt your heart break. I could swear I heard it in the shudder of the back of your eye, as you lay next to me, watched the wall ahead and tallied your numbers. It was a slender crack, but one nonetheless. And back then, like now, it surprised me that, you just sighed and pretended you were okay.
Well after all, you never said it by words or actions, never. And yet it surprises me that I confidently know you loved me.