It burnt me. How could he have met someone and I hadn’t// How could he be with someone so soon after and I wasn’t. It burnt me, it really did.
I thought and thought, and justified that he was a good person: that’s why I loved him. I thought and thought that it of course wouldn’t be hard for him, that he was easy to love.
And it burnt. Because I thought I was better, and smarter, and sweeter, and in fact a catch. And it burnt because it didn’t matter who she was and how they met and when they met, because whenever it was, it was too soon, it was too fast and it still shook me.
Down my lungs, and through my throat, I clenched my stomach, his name and hers // repulsive. It was all survival tactics. I didn’t know what was in store for me, and that was tough too. I couldn’t look forward to better things, because none was in front of me.
So I cried, for 3 minutes, exactly.
I hadn’t cried over him in a long time. I hadn’t needed to, but this burnt.