He was an incredibly smart person. Thorough, quick, logical. Anything he did, his mind was two steps ahead but still expansive enough to sufficiently consider his bases.
But when it came to the ins and outs of our relationship he was steps behind. It was disheartening, he couldn’t see the practicality of what he was doing with me. Loving me within his boundaries.
Maybe he didn’t want to think about it because he was worried if he did, and he still didn’t know how to fix us, that would mean he had lost.
I thought I needed to stay around, as he took some distance, let him figure things out. As if there was one puzzle piece lost amongst a handful of others, and he would eventually find it. He would fit us back in. He would not lose this.
But there was no piece lost, it was always missing. We alluded to it’s lack of existence, we just couldn’t admit it had never been there.