I smelled like him, breeze, fog and disgust

It’s time.

My mouth smelled like him. It wasn’t sexy or nostalgic or endearing this time. I left in the morning, sad that I had to feel what I did in order to understand it was time to end things.

His brother had to open the door for me, 1am, blue dress, makeup up smudged, security by my side. I was not okay with that.

I felt ashamed, a pile of regret, and tiny, oh how tiny I felt. I wouldn’t wish that moment upon anyone. I couldn’t even shake the memories off the next day. Or the days after. I closed my eyes and delved in. Over and over. Unanswered phone call, security, apartment door, his brother. Feeling the weight of misery, a cloudy mind, pounding, clenching in the pit of my stomach. The tears poured out of my heart. It was awful. It killed any pride I had left.

I had nothing left. Nothing of me left.

Miss Mess

xoxo

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About iheartmess

Dear Girls (and Boys!), Boys will hurt you, a lot of them. You'll feel like your heart is breaking at age 12, at 16, and then properly at 21 and then really at 26. When it breaks again before you are 30, that will be the real one, wait for it, every single one is everything, and nothing. It’s all great and terrible, it’s all worth it...
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3 Responses to I smelled like him, breeze, fog and disgust

  1. The Ramblin' Man says:

    “I had nothing left. Nothing of me left”

    That line.. gold..

    Like

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