How can you improve me? What can you teach me about life? Do you want to take this journey with me? What can you give me? What can you do for me?
I want you to make me feel confident, beautiful; make me feel like I am your priority. Make me smile. I want you to support me through my job troubles, family troubles, anxious troubles. Protect me. Be with me. I want you to be consistent and consistently available.
My belief was that feeling the love he had for me was enough. His love for me was all I should want. All I could expect. All I deserved.
I would be too demanding, too much of a gold digger, too arrogant, if I expected or asked for more, for anything. So instead of asking for a big house with a pool and friends in Connecticut, I said, that’s nice he knows people there. Instead of asking for good morning messages, I sent them to him. Instead of getting his support and kindness for what I was going through with my job, I helped him pack up his house and told him I understood how his move after living here for 6 years would feel confusing.