I can handle anything. Truly, complicated negotiations, mortgage application, car lease, purchase of a home, name the task. I can step out the house and take on the world.
Until I like you.
Until I’m chatting to you and I feel the potential. The tiniest spark of like. Then I’m at a loss. For words. For the right words. It’s like my heart is cursed. I shame and second guess and go back wanting to correct everything and anything I just said, I come out frazzled, upside down, lost in my mind, everything but my real self.
And sometimes I am a lot and sometimes I am nothing. And I don’t know if you are a lot or nothing. But I know right now it’s too much for me to handle on my own.