He whatsapped me a picture.
I clicked and stared at it for a few seconds. It was a picture of him with a vitamin drip in his right arm, half his face cut off by the frame. It hurt, looking at him hurt, conversations without him, hurt.
So I just reminded myself to notice it. This time, rather than texting him a sentimental and long message about my feelings, and wishes, and brokenness. I just noticed it. It was in the middle of my chest, center left, forced, and choking. Constant and reverberating. I kept breathing, it kept coming back up. Like our entire relationship, it felt disproportionate. His full detox to my repeated aches.
He said he was checking in to see how I was doing. To me this was 60 days since the last time we spoke (I counted them), to him this was just his morning catch up text.