Author Archives: iheartmess

About iheartmess

A Middle Eastern Londoner 20-something living the 'western' life in between London and home.

In my love story

Notes from January 2018 onward… I was so lonely. Especially if I was home alone, I would cry at various times. At night especially. I cried every night. I resisted messaging him at night time a while ago. I don’t … Continue reading

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If you lose, I haven’t won

He was an incredibly smart person. Thorough, quick, logical. Anything he did, his mind was two steps ahead but still expansive enough to sufficiently consider his bases. But when it came to the ins and outs of our relationship he … Continue reading

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2017, a year in review

Some people are so attached to their significant other that they are nothing without them, that they feel like they are nothing without them. I never learnt that, never experienced it. I am nothing with someone. I have never known … Continue reading

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A short story about separation

[from A’s memory]: She looked me in the eye and told me how much my words hurt her, how my actions and lack of effort effectively left her feeling unwanted. That our time spent together, she could only cringe when remembering: … Continue reading

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Did you develop a bad habit because of a past negative experience?

2 years post London; 6 years pre San Francisco: whenever i get annoyed at you, i start missing you within the hour and i forget all about your hurful behavior. i tell myself to ‘be cool’, to not say anything … Continue reading

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An oldie, but goodie

Here is your ending. You will walk there too. It was like we both happened to be walking in the same direction, against the whispers of the wind, parallel to the rising ocean. It was a beautiful sunny day, we … Continue reading

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Please tell me what I should do

We’re halfway into our relationship, and I’m helpless. I saw what life is like without you. And all I want is: you. The only person I think about being with is: you. It’s true, really. Sure, I wonder about someone … Continue reading

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