Author Archives: iheartmess

About iheartmess

A Middle Eastern Londoner 20-something living the 'western' life in between London and home.

Here’s a reminder 

Less than a week ago, I had lunch with my ex and his new wife. The one I cried over for months and months, the one I imagined I could tear down walls for, the one I thought understood me … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I really don’t want to put you on here

I tried to tell him we needed to stop. We needed to break up. I tried to tell him, “I’m in my thirties, we can’t keep acting like teenagers. Jumping into bed at all hours of the day. Really, we … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dear Human,

“You didn’t come here to be perfect. You already are. You came here to be gorgeously human. Flawed and fabulous. And then to rise again into remembering. But unconditional love? Stop telling that story. Love, in truth, doesn’t need any … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

In his heart

“Say you love me.” “What?” “Just say you love me, I know you won’t mean it, I just want to hear you say it to me.” My heart broke exponentially, my voice cracked, “I love feeling you…” I stopped and … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

“I’ll do whatever you want baby”

Now, I’m pushing and pushing him away. Unplanned he was leaving Palo Alto and I was driving that way. Unplanned he kept comforting me and I kept pushing him away. I know, one day, this will come back and break my … Continue reading

Gallery | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Wanna go away with me baby?

“I can’t come with you to Vegas,” she said, matter of fact. “Baby, why? Please.” He reached out for her hand, eyes somber, yet like his usual self, glimmering and hopeful. “Because every time I go, I make out with … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

You’re too good to me

I haven’t had it before. None of this. None of him. I know why he came into my life– despite my initial reservations, and common classifications and rivers of fear. For the first time ever, I have someone who is purely, unashamedly good to me. … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment