Tag Archives: blogging

First on SoundCloud

I was listening to my new guys music on soundcloud, whilst me ex was texting me, and another ex-from 10 years ago asked me what I’m doing tonight. Life has a way of consistently bringing everything I cared about to … Continue reading

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While he was in London

He whatsapped me a picture. I clicked and stared at it for a few seconds. It was a picture of him with a vitamin drip in his right arm, half his face cut off by the frame. It hurt, looking … Continue reading

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Feel Something

On the 4th Sunday, in my empty bed, I hurt myself. I lay there, feeling drained and overpowered by a beating in my head. I was flooded by an urgent need to make myself see things, things that my eyes … Continue reading

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Five steps of heartbreak

1. Clarity – I left yoga feeling so clear about breaking up with you. About the decision I finally made. What I should do. The words I should use. Finally clear about what I needed and how unaligned we were. … Continue reading

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The Big Stuff

Exactly at 9pm I walked into his friend’s newly opened bar. The neighbourhood was grungy but the bar was impressive, spacious, light wood, retractable ceilings. The group hadn’t arrived yet. Of course he was late to his own goodbye party. … Continue reading

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InstaPain

In modern times like these, our wolds are so converging, so connected, so easy to feel pain. He posted a picture, of a picture, of a girl in Mykonos, with the caption: “I met the most beautiful girl in the … Continue reading

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Does anyone else track dates?

On July 4, 2018, I lost my best friend. I made a decision that did not feel like it was me making it; I made the decision to stop. It was a hard time. Truely difficult. I had built this … Continue reading

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Are you ready to move on?

I pulled out my phone, opened up our text thread, tapped till I got all the way to the top, and once again read it through. This time, not to understand how we communicated, what I said to him, when … Continue reading

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I smelled like him, breeze, fog and disgust

It’s time. My mouth smelled like him. It wasn’t sexy or nostalgic or endearing this time. I left in the morning, sad that I had to feel what I did in order to understand it was time to end things. … Continue reading

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GoDaddy

I couldn’t listen to someone else’s story about the time you once loved. How you flew to Denmark for a domain name, well for a girl you had liked on some trip somewhere, and she owned the website that you … Continue reading

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Never us against the world

Nothing could save us. Telephone calls, good mornings texts, multiple sunshine emojis, look into his eyes, back to back late night runs. We built too much distance between us. After so many nights away, so many conversations retained, Work trips, … Continue reading

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Fridays was boys only 🚫

Is there something I’m doing wrong? Is there something I should be doing differently? For the life me I can’t understand why you don’t try to plan to see me on Fridays. Why not tell me to join you in … Continue reading

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In my love story

Notes from January 2018 onward… I was so lonely. Especially if I was home alone, I would cry at various times. At night especially. I cried every night. I resisted messaging him at nighttime a while ago. I don’t know … Continue reading

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If you lose, I haven’t won

He was an incredibly smart person. Thorough, quick, logical. Anything he did, his mind was two steps ahead but still expansive enough to sufficiently consider his bases. But when it came to the ins and outs of our relationship he … Continue reading

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2017, a year in review

Some people are so attached to their significant other that they are nothing without them, that they feel like they are nothing without them. I never learnt that, never experienced it. I am nothing with someone. I have never known … Continue reading

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An oldie, but goodie

Here is your ending. You will walk there too. It was like we both happened to be walking in the same direction, against the whispers of the wind, parallel to the rising ocean. It was a beautiful sunny day, we … Continue reading

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Please tell me what I should do

We’re halfway into our relationship, and I’m helpless. I saw what life is like without you. And all I want is: you. The only person I think about being with is: you. It’s true, really. Sure, I wonder about someone … Continue reading

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A trip back home

Let me explain the process: You feel this insurmountable happiness in your heart. You rest your eyes and smile with peace, knowing that they are waiting for you. The flight, the walk through the terminals, the faces of the other … Continue reading

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You’re the one I talk about in all my stories

“Are you sure you’re in love with him?” “Yes, I mean, I told him the other night, ‘I’m falling in love with you again’.” “Hm, ok but..” but maybe it wasn’t love. that’s what she was trying to tell me. … Continue reading

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My karma – the heart that keeps breaking

wow. those few words just broke my heart. i was gathering the courage to ask you, to ask me out on a date this weekend. i wanted to dress up, look cute for you. i was making little plans to … Continue reading

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