Tag Archives: Fears

Feel Something

On the 4th Sunday, in my empty bed, I hurt myself. I lay there, feeling drained and overpowered by a beating in my head. I was flooded by an urgent need to make myself see things, things that my eyes … Continue reading

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Protect Your Heart

For my Sunday workouts, when I lived down in LA, I used to hike this popular path going up a steep canyon. The hike itself was a joy and the views up were beautiful. Walking towards the park entrance, there … Continue reading

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After all, this war is all that we are

My mind roams a surrendered battlefield . 5 days a week I deliberate over having you in my life // keeping you a phone call away // caring for you as a ‘friend’. As soon as I stamp my heel … Continue reading

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I am glorious

There has not been one day that I haven’t thought of you. Not one day. It is odd to love someone so much that you don’t know what your life is going to be like without them. That you don’t … Continue reading

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Shopping for Rolls Royce and ‘Rarris

“Not that, no blue interiors. And please please not the two colour Rolls. No orange, ever”. “What do you know about cars anyway?” It just crossed my mind: I could give my opinion till year end, it wouldn’t matter because, … Continue reading

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Do not say “I’m fine” when you are clearly not

And so the fourth day passed. No news, no words, absolutely nothing from him. There I was bundled in a corner shivering, shaking, hiccupping off my high. And he was -.- It was a stark realisation. I didn’t want to be … Continue reading

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Got my bad baby by my heavenly side

“You think there’s nobody here for you?” “No.” “How are you so sure.” “I am.” “Aren’t you closing yourself off to experiences, things, reaching your full potential on your own.” “I’m sure. But there is something about him, and maybe … Continue reading

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Shattered dreams of your broken child

What would you do? Sometimes I think I’d be so scared that in all honesty, my brain will freeze and my flaky strong front will fall shattered and stolen. And thus I lie but helpless and subsumed, by implicit thoughts … Continue reading

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He loves me, he loves me, he loves me not …

This time I had a plan. I wasn’t going to get lost in the movie scene he funded, or swoon and stay frozen in that long awaiting embrace. I couldn’t forget my broken tears because his arms were so strong … Continue reading

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“I live for the nights I can’t remember with the people I won’t forget”

I imagined they would sweep the room and keep a record. So much documented, but so little open to the world. There were so many rules to live by, it was easy to presume I was breaking the law, maybe … Continue reading

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The company you are with

“She’s a whore”- and you said it so nonchalantly. That was about your best friend’s best friend, the ‘love of his life’. Six months after you made that statement I gathered the guts to talk to you about it… “What am … Continue reading

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CRINGE!!

I asked for what I wanted, from whom I wanted. BUT … wait for itt … before I could strut in my heels towards your sex of a body, I cowered in the corner and failed to seize what was … Continue reading

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PATIENCE

I’ve tried to take my time because if these things are real it doesn’t matter if it happens today, next week or in a month. I didn’t think this way before, I thought the moment is all that counts, and … Continue reading

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Smoke and Mirrors: the prototype of our fears

Our biggest fear is not that we will fail, our biggest fear is success itself; It’s less terrifying to stay in our constant, comfortable state of unhappiness, for if we achieve peace and serenity we have nothing more to whine … Continue reading

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Fears pt. 2

Before it gets serious we run, before it starts we walk away. … losing the best we never had. Miss Mess xoxo

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