Tag Archives: heartbreak

While he was in London

He whatsapped me a picture. I clicked and stared at it for a few seconds. It was a picture of him with a vitamin drip in his right arm, half his face cut off by the frame. It hurt, looking … Continue reading

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Until you grow big enough to handle anything

I can handle anything. Truly, complicated negotiations, mortgage application, car lease, purchase of a home, name the task. I can step out the house and take on the world. Until I like you. Until I’m chatting to you and I … Continue reading

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Feel Something

On the 4th Sunday, in my empty bed, I hurt myself. I lay there, feeling drained and overpowered by a beating in my head. I was flooded by an urgent need to make myself see things, things that my eyes … Continue reading

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Protect Your Heart

For my Sunday workouts, when I lived down in LA, I used to hike this popular path going up a steep canyon. The hike itself was a joy and the views up were beautiful. Walking towards the park entrance, there … Continue reading

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Five steps of heartbreak

1. Clarity – I left yoga feeling so clear about breaking up with you. About the decision I finally made. What I should do. The words I should use. Finally clear about what I needed and how unaligned we were. … Continue reading

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The Big Stuff

Exactly at 9pm I walked into his friend’s newly opened bar. The neighbourhood was grungy but the bar was impressive, spacious, light wood, retractable ceilings. The group hadn’t arrived yet. Of course he was late to his own goodbye party. … Continue reading

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It felt mean, because I thought it was mean

Tonight was the worst. I felt like he punched me straight in my stomach. I had no idea who the girl was who answered his phone. It was unintentional. Poorly planned. Hours of partying, bathroom powder breaks. Unwinding of a … Continue reading

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This one is for you P

I’m having those thoughts again. Sad, lonely, empty heart, thoughts. Sad that he wasn’t the person for me. What I needed was consistency and daily connection. It was simple, I needed daily connection. When I finally understood he couldn’t give … Continue reading

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Lesson #4257: ask for what you want

How can you improve me? What can you teach me about life? Do you want to take this journey with me? What can you give me? What can you do for me? I want you to make me feel confident, … Continue reading

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InstaPain

In modern times like these, our wolds are so converging, so connected, so easy to feel pain. He posted a picture, of a picture, of a girl in Mykonos, with the caption: “I met the most beautiful girl in the … Continue reading

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Does anyone else track dates?

On July 4, 2018, I lost my best friend. I made a decision that did not feel like it was me making it; I made the decision to stop. It was a hard time. Truely difficult. I had built this … Continue reading

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Are you ready to move on?

I pulled out my phone, opened up our text thread, tapped till I got all the way to the top, and once again read it through. This time, not to understand how we communicated, what I said to him, when … Continue reading

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I smelled like him, breeze, fog and disgust

It’s time. My mouth smelled like him. It wasn’t sexy or nostalgic or endearing this time. I left in the morning, sad that I had to feel what I did in order to understand it was time to end things. … Continue reading

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GoDaddy

I couldn’t listen to someone else’s story about the time you once loved. How you flew to Denmark for a domain name, well for a girl you had liked on some trip somewhere, and she owned the website that you … Continue reading

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Never us against the world

Nothing could save us. Telephone calls, good mornings texts, multiple sunshine emojis, look into his eyes, back to back late night runs. We built too much distance between us. After so many nights away, so many conversations retained, Work trips, … Continue reading

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If you lose, I haven’t won

He was an incredibly smart person. Thorough, quick, logical. Anything he did, his mind was two steps ahead but still expansive enough to sufficiently consider his bases. But when it came to the ins and outs of our relationship he … Continue reading

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A short story about separation

[from A’s memory]: She looked me in the eye and told me how much my words hurt her, how my actions and lack of effort effectively left her feeling unwanted. That our time spent together, she could only cringe when remembering: … Continue reading

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You’re the one I talk about in all my stories

“Are you sure you’re in love with him?” “Yes, I mean, I told him the other night, ‘I’m falling in love with you again’.” “Hm, ok but..” but maybe it wasn’t love. that’s what she was trying to tell me. … Continue reading

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My karma – the heart that keeps breaking

wow. those few words just broke my heart. i was gathering the courage to ask you, to ask me out on a date this weekend. i wanted to dress up, look cute for you. i was making little plans to … Continue reading

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As if my heart couldn’t break

Throughout our relationship, although I had my selfish moments, I stopped acting on what it was that I truthfully wanted. Who I wanted to be with. Where I wanted to go. What I wanted to do. I was constantly worried … Continue reading

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