Tag Archives: inspiration

Can you hear me?

We had been together for a little bit. You know, exchanged numbers, off bumble, one date in, lots of texts, and once a day FaceTimes. In that small space we had a level of knowing. Okay, I had a level … Continue reading

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Be still.

He was still there, in my fucking heart. I scrolled through my calendar to see how long it had been. I typed “surf lesson” in the search bar; that was the day after the last time I saw him, nearly … Continue reading

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Steps of Kindness

I wish you an abundance of energy, tranquility, love and real kindness. I truly hope you can live your life the way you want to. With achievement and stability and inner compassion. Thanks for teaching me more about myself. The … Continue reading

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Learning to say I Love You

I may have said I love you, once, maybe twice, in our entire three years together. Near the end, because he started to feel like family, I would say “love you, bye!” You know, like when you hang up the … Continue reading

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Protect Your Heart

For my Sunday workouts, when I lived down in LA, I used to hike this popular path going up a steep canyon. The hike itself was a joy and the views up were beautiful. Walking towards the park entrance, there … Continue reading

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From lovers to friends

And today, this is what I wanted. This special kind of friendship. I may not have been able to ask for what I want, or make the decision out loud, but I knew how to guide it. To here. With … Continue reading

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Break ups in cars with questions

This week has been difficult. And I know you would love to hear me tell you that. That I miss you. That I’ve needed to message you. That this shit is hard without you. Why do we need a reminder … Continue reading

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Going through and through and through our reckoning

I started to imagine we would have the most incredible, last night together. You moving out next Wednesday and our future over since last Thursday. In our fickle, forever relationship, I pictured one, last, fun, full of conversation night. I clung to the … Continue reading

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It felt mean, because I thought it was mean

Tonight was the worst. I felt like he punched me straight in my stomach. I had no idea who the girl was who answered his phone. It was unintentional. Poorly planned. Hours of partying, bathroom powder breaks. Unwinding of a … Continue reading

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This one is for you P

I’m having those thoughts again. Sad, lonely, empty heart, thoughts. Sad that he wasn’t the person for me. What I needed was consistency and daily connection. It was simple, I needed daily connection. When I finally understood he couldn’t give … Continue reading

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Lesson #4257: ask for what you want

How can you improve me? What can you teach me about life? Do you want to take this journey with me? What can you give me? What can you do for me? I want you to make me feel confident, … Continue reading

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Poetic Sadness

It was the strangest thing. Thinking about getting to the place where I would be okay, where I would no longer be sad, where I would move on from him, – made me cry. It made me inconsolable. Was it … Continue reading

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One Summer Wedding

They left the dance floor, went through the kitchen and took the hidden steps up to the expansive roof in the middle of downtown LA. It was completely empty when they got up there. It was still light out, the … Continue reading

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Is there an app for that?

Has anyone ever had one person in their life they loved but couldn’t be with because of traditional society, and at the same time had another person who was so perfect on paper but who was taking things so, slow. Well I … Continue reading

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Be Brave.

I am so scared of tomorrow, so scared of the work that I need to put in to get to my dreams.  Or what if all that work means nothing, gets me nowhere. How can I fall asleep knowing I … Continue reading

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“To love someone is for their happiness to be the same as your own”

Wish I felt that. For you to be happy, for me to be happy. All I wanted was to be happy. Like the animated kid jumping to catch her red helium balloon rising in the wind, I chased it through those convoluted streets, … Continue reading

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Reborn

Have more faith in life and yourself. I know what it’s like when you are alone in bed; waiting for sleep to fall over you. Clear your mind. Breath out the weight. Ponder your dreams instead. Today you are reborn, … Continue reading

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Lonely Planet

Here, hold on to my hands. Do you remember me? Trust me You can follow me I will always keep the lonely parts outside of you. Miss Mess xoxo

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“missing you comes in waves, today I’m drowning”

I wasn’t doing anything extraordinary, silently enjoying the show, smiling at the actors on the stage. He turned to me and from the corner of my eye I heard him breathe, “I really want to kiss you now.” I don’t … Continue reading

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And what is it that makes us who we are?

“Do not pity yourself that a comment by some absolutely random chick got you this wound up”. I melted inside myself. I was so embarrassed that he was so right that I was fuming. “You are all the same, inconsiderate … Continue reading

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