Tag Archives: instability

The company you are with

“She’s a whore”- and you said it so nonchalantly. That was about your best friend’s best friend, the ‘love of his life’. Six months after you made that statement I gathered the guts to talk to you about it… “What am … Continue reading

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Trust became an old game I began to get worse at

I don’t know if this works like instant messaging, but please reply now.. please read what I write and send me thoughts to distract my brash, overlapping, vehement disrepair. I really can’t sleep. I have all my fears and failures … Continue reading

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Bent just far enough to break

I have a lot of bad moments that flash around me just when my car crashes, swerving uncontrollable, almost self harming, into your icy wall. Shattered mEmOrIeS, failing dReAmS.. Negative ideals taking space in my head enough that I don’t feel … Continue reading

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Cheers to your secrets and red Bull

My clenched jaw in step with my fuming rage won’t allow me to rationalise my words. Did you ever believe in history? Ours, what we made of our friendship. Do you understand the idea of loving someone for the good … Continue reading

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happy with the way it is

“Dammit! Take one night, one day, just five minutes, to speak the truth to me. What’s the worst that can happen?” “I’ll lose you all over again”. “Isn’t it better than not having me now??” “No”. No, it is not. … Continue reading

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selfish behaviour breads a world of heartbreaks

It’s borderline impossible to see you back on my better side. Horrible, horrible moments overshadowing the smile you put on my face, Feeling sick from hearing from you Feeling sick from the incessant arguments. Do you even remember the night I asked you … Continue reading

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The analysis of the Mess consuming our lifestyles

Maybe its our age, that quarter life crisis. This abundance of ambition but lack of unwavering direction Mere ability to see the future but not grasp those dreams into reality The glamorous lives of where we would love to be. … Continue reading

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Remembering reality is a tragedy

On this blank page, My words are stranded before they gain their place; explain what they are and what they mean, to you. They are not permitted their thunder. Reality is so unfortunately shocking to my sensibilities. I am speechless … Continue reading

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It’s complicated

“Are you scared of being alone with me? That somehow your foolishness will drop your guard, and give me that warmth I’ve been lacking? When all I need is to have some alone time, to be face to face with … Continue reading

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… how I hate goodbyes (day end)

DAY 1.  DAY 7.  DAY 14.  DAY 16.  DAY 21.  DAY 28.  DAY 41. & DAY 60.  DAY 65. DAY 66. DAY 120. DAY 230. DAY 260. DAY 379: In his presence and partly in my mind, I had waved bye to … Continue reading

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… maybe baby, bye baby (day 230)

DAY 1.  DAY 7.  DAY 14.  DAY 16.  DAY 21.  DAY 28.  DAY 41. & DAY 60.  DAY 65. DAY 66. DAY 120. DAY 230: After all the ups and downs, the inevitable: end and aftermath. Saying Goodbye without saying anything. … Continue reading

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… second time arounds (day 120)

DAY 1.  DAY 7.  DAY 14.  DAY 16.  DAY 21.  DAY 28.  DAY 41. & DAY 60.  DAY 65. DAY 66. DAY 120: Mr December and I passed The End long before the 3rd month, but when it’s so hard to … Continue reading

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… Words I Never Said (day 66)

DAY 1.  DAY 7.  DAY 14.  DAY 16.  DAY 21.  DAY 28.  DAY 41. & DAY 60.  DAY 65. DAY 66: Hitting The Edge – That point where pride is still intact, but where walking away was necessary to give Mr December … Continue reading

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… Forget You (day 65)

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DAY 1.  DAY 7.  DAY 14.  DAY 16.  DAY 21. DAY 28.  DAY 41. & DAY 60. DAY 65: Mr December’s reappearances and all attempts to try at something that was never Worked On initially was becoming nightmarish. [A few songs that … Continue reading

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… please come back (day 41 and 60)

DAY 1. DAY 7. DAY 14. DAY 16. DAY 21. DAY 28.  DAY 41: When falling for Mr December I had pretty much no control, after the first month everything was sporadic to say the least. [We probably miss what we … Continue reading

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… please just go away (day 28)

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DAY 1. DAY 7. DAY 14. DAY 16. DAY 21. DAY 28: Where the hot and cold, forget you, dessert disappearances started and tipped and spilled the mess bucket across all the good that did once exist between Mr December … Continue reading

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Doubting your happy

I can feel it, Within me, in my chest, a constant pain and deep established unhappiness that I ignore quite easily most days. But some days, like these days, it’s too much, it’s too clenched, like crushed glass running its … Continue reading

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Fall for your type

For someone who hates change and instability, I do a great job of getting into situations that are all but certain. Firstly my professional career is currently on hold; I would give anything for a boring, make my way to the … Continue reading

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