Tag Archives: Life

Until you grow big enough to handle anything

I can handle anything. Truly, complicated negotiations, mortgage application, car lease, purchase of a home, name the task. I can step out the house and take on the world. Until I like you. Until I’m chatting to you and I … Continue reading

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This one is for you P

I’m having those thoughts again. Sad, lonely, empty heart, thoughts. Sad that he wasn’t the person for me. What I needed was consistency and daily connection. It was simple, I needed daily connection. When I finally understood he couldn’t give … Continue reading

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I smelled like him, breeze, fog and disgust

It’s time. My mouth smelled like him. It wasn’t sexy or nostalgic or endearing this time. I left in the morning, sad that I had to feel what I did in order to understand it was time to end things. … Continue reading

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2017, a year in review

Some people are so attached to their significant other that they are nothing without them, that they feel like they are nothing without them. I never learnt that, never experienced it. I am nothing with someone. I have never known … Continue reading

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Did you develop a bad habit because of a past negative experience?

2 years post London; 6 years pre San Francisco: whenever i get annoyed at you, i start missing you within the hour and i forget all about your hurful behavior. i tell myself to ‘be cool’, to not say anything … Continue reading

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An oldie, but goodie

Here is your ending. You will walk there too. It was like we both happened to be walking in the same direction, against the whispers of the wind, parallel to the rising ocean. It was a beautiful sunny day, we … Continue reading

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A trip back home

Let me explain the process: You feel this insurmountable happiness in your heart. You rest your eyes and smile with peace, knowing that they are waiting for you. The flight, the walk through the terminals, the faces of the other … Continue reading

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Is there an app for that?

Has anyone ever had one person in their life they loved but couldn’t be with because of traditional society, and at the same time had another person who was so perfect on paper but who was taking things so, slow. Well I … Continue reading

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New city, New boys

From day one, liking you really threw me off. Three years after that first day, when I never thought of you again, suddenly here you are. Here you are with me. In this new city, with rooms and rooms full … Continue reading

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In his book …

I read the chapter in his book about him falling in love with a beautiful Tibetan-Indian. About their passionate love making. About his weaknesses and vulnerabilities for her. Unlike all the other chapters, this was very well written. It felt … Continue reading

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Be Brave.

I am so scared of tomorrow, so scared of the work that I need to put in to get to my dreams.  Or what if all that work means nothing, gets me nowhere. How can I fall asleep knowing I … Continue reading

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Round 29

Loneliness is a fucking bitch. Miss Mess xoxo

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These Ex of mine

I never knew where he stood and what he thought about it. About my actions and reactions, and fights and battles. About all that made me small in life, all that made me weak and negative and in search of … Continue reading

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We broke up.

“… And he was so harsh.” “People always say mean things when they’re fighting. That’s normal.” “I don’t. And I want someone who’s more compassionate, even when he’s angry. You know, so he would still walk me to my car, … Continue reading

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What are you scared of?

I’m scared of two things: permanence and failure. That permanent, final, future choice. Because what if I feel trapped, with no way out. What if I no longer have control. What if I wake up tomorrow and the only way … Continue reading

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Boys in LA

“Hi?” “Hi” “What’s your problem with me?” “I don’t have a problem with you – What do you mean?” “You don’t make any effort to see me – when I do.” cowardly, inappropriately, seeking validation, I do, she heard herself … Continue reading

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Is this you?

I don’t know if it’s hard for me to read you because, because you’re trying so hard to play me. Or maybe you haven’t figured yourself out yet. And likely, you are just hard to read. I literally can’t put … Continue reading

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Reborn

Have more faith in life and yourself. I know what it’s like when you are alone in bed; waiting for sleep to fall over you. Clear your mind. Breath out the weight. Ponder your dreams instead. Today you are reborn, … Continue reading

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Lonely Planet

Here, hold on to my hands. Do you remember me? Trust me You can follow me I will always keep the lonely parts outside of you. Miss Mess xoxo

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Whilst you were sleeping

I looked up at his face whilst he was sleeping. I kept my eyes on him and I knew I’d fallen for him already. He had the most perfect jawline, protruding cheekbones, a little stubble covering it all. I ran my … Continue reading

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