Tag Archives: summer

While he was in London

He whatsapped me a picture. I clicked and stared at it for a few seconds. It was a picture of him with a vitamin drip in his right arm, half his face cut off by the frame. It hurt, looking … Continue reading

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Learning to say I Love You

I may have said I love you, once, maybe twice, in our entire three years together. Near the end, because he started to feel like family, I would say “love you, bye!” You know, like when you hang up the … Continue reading

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From lovers to friends

And today, this is what I wanted. This special kind of friendship. I may not have been able to ask for what I want, or make the decision out loud, but I knew how to guide it. To here. With … Continue reading

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New Title: things my therapist said..

My therapist said, our relationships go to the core of our trauma, because we seek in our partners what we need and what we are searching for within ourselves. That blew my mind. I then told her I wanted to … Continue reading

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Am I jealous of your baby?

This one was hard to admit… I had a thought that made it clear to me that we shouldn’t be together. Loving him too much, hurt, not just me, but everything. Turns out when he sent me a picture of … Continue reading

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Break ups in cars with questions

This week has been difficult. And I know you would love to hear me tell you that. That I miss you. That I’ve needed to message you. That this shit is hard without you. Why do we need a reminder … Continue reading

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Going through and through and through our reckoning

I started to imagine we would have the most incredible, last night together. You moving out next Wednesday and our future over since last Thursday. In our fickle, forever relationship, I pictured one, last, fun, full of conversation night. I clung to the … Continue reading

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It felt mean, because I thought it was mean

Tonight was the worst. I felt like he punched me straight in my stomach. I had no idea who the girl was who answered his phone. It was unintentional. Poorly planned. Hours of partying, bathroom powder breaks. Unwinding of a … Continue reading

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Lesson #4257: ask for what you want

How can you improve me? What can you teach me about life? Do you want to take this journey with me? What can you give me? What can you do for me? I want you to make me feel confident, … Continue reading

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Poetic Sadness

It was the strangest thing. Thinking about getting to the place where I would be okay, where I would no longer be sad, where I would move on from him, – made me cry. It made me inconsolable. Was it … Continue reading

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One Summer Wedding

They left the dance floor, went through the kitchen and took the hidden steps up to the expansive roof in the middle of downtown LA. It was completely empty when they got up there. It was still light out, the … Continue reading

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A good next step

I don’t care anymore, I don’t care in what order, who said what, I don’t care if you were thoughtful, responsive and the person trying the last 4 months. You f***** shit up good, and I hate you. Its been … Continue reading

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You make anything into everything

As a bad habit, I’d send him something, with no walls, vulnerable. Give so much of myself with no expectation of return. It took the air out of my lungs, and he’d take it. Who thinks about these things with … Continue reading

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I just wanna tell you to eat shit and then run away

Everything you say, post, do, gets on my last fucking nerve; I contemplate between commenting something desperately hilarious, crying to you that I still love you, or just ignoring your sleezebag society. Ah if only this smouldering lonely phase would … Continue reading

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the summer that was worth 100k

I miss that boy in New York: he was so honest with me, so naturally genuine and humbly giving. After Miami I couldn’t bring myself to ask you questions the girls, the girlfriends, the past that no one asks you … Continue reading

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