2 years post London; 6 years pre San Francisco:
whenever i get annoyed at you, i start missing you within the hour and i forget all about your hurful behavior. i tell myself to ‘be cool’, and i know all the fun times we had together was what makes me happy too. but unfortunately it’s not as easy as that for me. the day i tried to tell you that you hurt me, you wouldn’t have any of it.
during the week it’s easy for me to stop loving you. it’s easy-er to be okay with not seeing you. but those five days building make me give you everything by the end of it.
my tears are flowing continuously now. if i could just express myself. if i could just stop these sporadic tears.
how is there so much to tell you when im talking to you in my head, but all these words seem immaterial when i’m sitting next to you.
i think i know what i want, the exact feel of your hand on my neck, but does that make me happy? i can’t bare to lose you, but i can’t continue in the shadows of your rare moon either.
tell me who made you feel that way?
tell me why you would do this to others?
tell me who else has been here.